Some think of it as gross, others not needed, and most just want the 3 hours of their life back after waiting for everyone else to try. I'm talking of course about the drug testing procedure for Northwestern athletics. Lets review quickly how it works for those of you who are not in the know.
Alright, so every team is 'randomly' tested once through out the year as a team, meaning everyone has to produce a sample at an unknown point during the year at the same time. Additionally, at each random team testing, there is 'random' individual testing for all of the other teams. generally there are about 10 random individuals who are selected to be tested with the random team test.
Individuals and teams are not notified until they are at practice or 3pm, and they are expected to arrive at the testing location by 6pm, if they have not it is considered an automatic positive. Assuming they have shown up, the real fun begins. At the test site, there is only 2 individuals running the test, typically one male, and one female, and only a male can test a male, and a female test a female.
Everyone has to sign in, and then wait.
Waiting can be quick, if you are first, or it can be extremely long. Unfortunately, the university is too cheap to use blood, and uses urine samples. This means that if you get stage fright, and can't pee into a cup with someone watching, you can try and try and not get enough. Worse yet, you can also produce samples that are to dilute, meaning you are too well hydrated. Well if you are at a strenuous practice, chances are you are drinking water in ample supply, and run the risk of producing to dilute samples. On the other hand, you can try to not drink enough (and risk cramping and failure in workout), sweat out all of your water, and then be unable to produce enough quantity. Its largely a guessing game, and no one gets it right every time.
So what happens if you get stage fright, produce to dilute, or can't produce a large enough sample? you go to the back of the line is what, which can be 30 or more people long. if you figure that each person takes 3 minutes to attempt to produce a sample (and thats on the short side) thats 90 minutes before you can try again. What if you fail again? And again? well unfortunately for you, you only have a 3 hour window to try in, and if you have not been able to succeed, then you get to come back tomorrow and try again. Or you can give them a hair sample, but they really do take a huge chunk out of your hair and you look quite funny.
Starting to get the picture here? the drug testing protocol is a very time consuming affair, not an exact science, and has far more reliable and efficient methods (however more costly) in hair samples and blood samples. So why don't we use them?
The best bet is that no one has considered forming a persona about the people who are going through the drug testing process. They seem to be unaware that as a student athlete our time is very valuable, we have expectations that make it difficult to produce acceptable urine samples, and we don't wish to stand out with funny hair cuts. Perhaps if they made a persona named Richard, and found out a little more about who they were designing the program for, they might be more inclined to splurge and go with the faster blood testing set up, allowing the students to spend less time at a testing site and more time studying for that test they have at 8am the next day.
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a friend of mine back in high school needed to pass a urine drug test before starting her summer internship at the chicago board of trade. she had been partying recently and asked another friend to provide her with clean urine. she taped a small water bottle to her leg, walked into the board of trade, and passed the test.
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